All of us at some point of life have asked this question - Is there a set of
rules to have a perfect relationship? Or when we see any happy couple we ask
ourselves - 'How do they manage to be so much in love?' Truly to say there is
no set of rules for a perfect relationship. Actually there is no perfect
relationship, as we all are humans born with imperfections. Perfect
relationship is what we try to achieve making it in our own ways. But in this
process we need to stop looking at other couples and comparing our lives with
them.
When we fall in love with someone, we love them for a reason. But over a period of time what happens to us that we tend to fall out of it. Was the reason or have they changed? Not both, they are still the same. It’s just that when we fall in love, all we see is that they are perfect humans for us. But later we realize that they are imperfect and we tend to feel we need a better person. Why do we need a better person? Why can't we make that person better whom we are in love with? Older generation never had a chance to know who they have to live with for next 75-80 years, today we have got that blessing to know each other well and develop each other. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes, and we all fall in our journey.
The best relationship is when two people know each other’s flaws, imperfections, mistakes and still love, care, work to develop each other and grow to be better people. Why? Because they know that they are not perfect humans, they have accepted each other as they are and most important are willing and working towards changing each other to be a better person.
People have written quotes that 'If someone tries to change you, then you shouldn't be with that person'. I ask today that why? If someone is trying to make you a better person why can't you be with that person? None of us is God, and none of us are an ideal human being.
Stages of love:
Initially it’s all about I love you and all about the romantic stars that you see at night and day. At this time people tend to pour in gifts, love receiving gifts and hugs. This phase of love everyone passes with flying colors. As it’s a very glittering one, childlike romance, where all the huggy shuggies are exchanged.
Over a period of time due to age, time, distance, responsibilities, couples forget saying I love you to each other, forget about the gifts and all lovely dovey romance. This is the time when most of them tend to fall apart. Why do they? Was love lost in their life? No, all they didnt have was patience to give more time, understand each other, do something out of the way for each other. Why is it that we start cribbing that 'he is not doing that for me? Or he/ she is no more having time for me?' We shouldn't forget that we have grown in the relationship to the next stage, where we are now matured in it. We know each other, we know that they need their personal space too, we know that we love each other. We don’t need them to express it every day by saying 'I love you', instead we understand by the every small word said and care shown. We are now no more the childish romantic lovers, but way more matured to handle this relationship for life. People who stay together in this phase live life together and forever. As their love, care, respect, understanding, kindness, knowing each other’s needs has resolved all the petty arguments, fights and differences.
Next comes the phase where we go out of the way to show them our love. We don’t need them now, but we choose them in everything. We can handle life without them but we choose them in our life. We try doing things that make them feel loved. And make our world with them a better place, build our family with them forever
When we fall in love with someone, we love them for a reason. But over a period of time what happens to us that we tend to fall out of it. Was the reason or have they changed? Not both, they are still the same. It’s just that when we fall in love, all we see is that they are perfect humans for us. But later we realize that they are imperfect and we tend to feel we need a better person. Why do we need a better person? Why can't we make that person better whom we are in love with? Older generation never had a chance to know who they have to live with for next 75-80 years, today we have got that blessing to know each other well and develop each other. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes, and we all fall in our journey.
The best relationship is when two people know each other’s flaws, imperfections, mistakes and still love, care, work to develop each other and grow to be better people. Why? Because they know that they are not perfect humans, they have accepted each other as they are and most important are willing and working towards changing each other to be a better person.
People have written quotes that 'If someone tries to change you, then you shouldn't be with that person'. I ask today that why? If someone is trying to make you a better person why can't you be with that person? None of us is God, and none of us are an ideal human being.
Stages of love:
Initially it’s all about I love you and all about the romantic stars that you see at night and day. At this time people tend to pour in gifts, love receiving gifts and hugs. This phase of love everyone passes with flying colors. As it’s a very glittering one, childlike romance, where all the huggy shuggies are exchanged.
Over a period of time due to age, time, distance, responsibilities, couples forget saying I love you to each other, forget about the gifts and all lovely dovey romance. This is the time when most of them tend to fall apart. Why do they? Was love lost in their life? No, all they didnt have was patience to give more time, understand each other, do something out of the way for each other. Why is it that we start cribbing that 'he is not doing that for me? Or he/ she is no more having time for me?' We shouldn't forget that we have grown in the relationship to the next stage, where we are now matured in it. We know each other, we know that they need their personal space too, we know that we love each other. We don’t need them to express it every day by saying 'I love you', instead we understand by the every small word said and care shown. We are now no more the childish romantic lovers, but way more matured to handle this relationship for life. People who stay together in this phase live life together and forever. As their love, care, respect, understanding, kindness, knowing each other’s needs has resolved all the petty arguments, fights and differences.
Next comes the phase where we go out of the way to show them our love. We don’t need them now, but we choose them in everything. We can handle life without them but we choose them in our life. We try doing things that make them feel loved. And make our world with them a better place, build our family with them forever
Things
that can make a love last forever:
- Understand each other’s need. If the other person doesn't like you dressing up in a particular manner then give it up. Material things, outsiders, manners are not more important than your person. Give him/ her the importance.
- Respect each other and their views. If you disagree to something, you don’t need to fight and argue. You can disagree gracefully. You don’t need to create drama and scene out of every petty things in life. Respect each other’s family too. Your mother in law is also a mother. It is okay if she is tough, people are different. You can change her to a loving one if you really want too.
- Compromises and Sacrifices done, don't ever count these as to how much you have done for someone you love. These are done out of love isn't it? And this is an essential part of any relationship, we need to compromise and that nowhere says that you’re weak.
- Give each other their personal space. This way you’re helping to build your relationship more strongly. How? When you are away from the person, you miss them and missing brings in a new spark in the relationship. Not only that you will have lots to share on how you spend your time and what all you did. This particular concept I have learned from one of my best friend, the way she used to go out with her girlfriends and give the home all for her man to spend time with his guy friends. And she even said its nice when you meet each other after a day or two. Being in a relationship doesn't mean you need to be stuck to each other like fevicol.
- Learn to support each other at every step of life, lend a helping hand in various things, show love, care and concern they are yours, don’t try controlling their life - you’re not a jailer and they are not your prisoner, try doing random stuffs together and also individually. Reinvent life in your way and set things you want to do to make your life with them better.
Life is not perfect nor is anyone, Life is not easy to live with someone
as they are different from us but it’s worth living with them forever.
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